The Mind-Set of Overachievers and Managing Fear
Many successful partners are overachievers and suffer from the “imposter syndrome” (or the feeling that they are a fraud).
This means overachievers have an underlying fear of failure or their self-worth is contingent upon competence. Rather than setting and striving for goals based on a pure desire to achieve, the underlying motivation that impels overachievers out into the world is one of avoiding failure.
Fear can be driven by external forces (“something has happened and I’m fearful of what will happen next”) or by internal forces, such as limiting beliefs or a sense of inadequacy.
Am I capable of doing what needs to be done? What happens if I can’t do what’s asked of me? Will I be ridiculed? Fears of this nature relate to very basic human concerns, such as the desire to be respected and valued by other people. And this is a powerful driver that can influence our behaviour.
The real problem is not usually the fear itself – but it is the consequences that result from being fearful.
Individual consequences
Most people are not frightened about what has actually happened. They’re fearful of what they imagine might happen. Often they extrapolate a seemingly logical sequence of events into a fearful scenario. As a result, fear can distort your whole perception of reality.
As a partner, it’s perfectly acceptable to feel fear. But you should recognise what it is that you are fearful of – and how valid that fear is. As Mark Twain said “I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened”.
To overcome the procrastination and indecisiveness that can result from fear, it is important to take some action, to move forward, to get started. By turning your focus away from the fear, and onto the action you are going to take, you can distract yourself from your fear and give you a more positive frame of mind.
The upside of fear
Fear should not always be seen as negative. It can act as a warning sign that you need to be cautious and so can prompt you to think through the consequences of your actions. Fear also creates an energy. It heightens your focus and your awareness of where you are and what you’re doing.
Fear can act as a catalyst as well. For example, the fear of failure often drives people to work hard, to be productive or to seek out new approaches. But failure is an imaginary concept. Underpinning that fear is a belief that ‘we are what we do’.
Organisational consequences
Research shows that the mood and behaviour of the leader drives the mood and behaviour of everyone else in the firm. Maybe you have experienced for yourself either the inspirational impact of working for an upbeat partner or the debilitating drain of toiling for a toxic grouch. The former makes everything feel possible, the latter makes work gruelling.
The point is that everyone watches the boss and takes their emotional cues from them – and the domino effect ripples throughout the firm. So, if your employees or your team perceive that you are paralysed by fear, the likely result will be widespread fear and anxiety – not to mention stress and procrastination. Although tense or terrified employees can be productive in the short term, sooner or later their performance is likely to nosedive.
Because you set the tone for the culture or work environment – and your mood is quite literally contagious – you have a responsibility to manage your own fear and to project confidence, high energy and a positive attitude.
But keep it authentic
So, to improve the performance of your team or your firm, you have to begin by managing your inner life so that the right emotional and behavioural chain reaction occurs.
It’s not simply a case of: ‘smile and the world smiles with you’. You have to be authentic. In other words, your actions have to match your internal feelings.
You can’t fake this by simply putting on a brave face. If you act buoyant and upbeat when in fact you are fearful and anxious, people will detect an imbalance. They might not be able to articulate exactly why but you will come across to them as insincere.
Another important point is that your mood should match the situation at hand. If you have fears, acknowledge them. But try to retain an encouraging air of sincerity, optimism and realism. Removing yourself from the immediate situation can help to give you a more objective viewpoint. Step back and examine the facts with neutral eyes.
So, don’t be paralysed by fear – and don’t blow the consequences out of proportion. Try to understand what options your team or the firm has available and the risks attached to each of these. Gather information, involve others and decide on what you think is the best course of action.
About Cote Consultants
Cote Consultants is a coaching, leadership and performance improvement firm based in central London. We work with any organisation that wants to drive sustainable growth in performance and capital through the personal and professional development of its most promising leaders and teams.
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Posted in: Leadership, Performance